Newsletter March 2011

The Transformer

Inspiration and News from the Center for Transformational Presence 

March 2011

Article:  The Robber's Gift

Soul Mission Profile:  Teresa Haines—Putting It Together

Video of the Month:  Brene Brown—The Power of Vulnerability

The Robber's Gift

by Alan Seale

Photo - Maureen Edwards

He came in through a window in my office in the middle of the night. We were upstairs sleeping. He was so quiet, even the dogs did not hear him. He was incredibly neat. He opened the window, carefully set aside the candlesticks and oil lamp that were on the window sill, climbed in and took what he could carry, and then exited through the window, putting everything back in place on the sill before closing the window. When the police officer followed the footprints in the snow, it was clear that he had been walking from house to house for many blocks searching for an unlocked door or window. He must have been desperate to be out on such a bitterly cold night.

The next morning I was up for almost an hour before I realized that something was amiss. I went into my office to retrieve my mobile phone and discovered that it was gone, along with a number of other electronics. He had been so careful to put everything back in place that, at first glance, I couldn’t figure out how he had gotten in. The door was still locked from the inside. It was the police detective who first noticed that a pillow on the floor in front of the window had been mashed down and a candle was strangely tilted to one side.

My first response was shock. I never expected anyone to break into our house. But then, does anyone ever expect such a thing? After a few minutes I got focused again and realized there were things that had to be done. I called the police, the insurance company, and my bank. I scanned the whole lower level of the house to determine if anything else had been stolen, and then spent time with the police for the report.

By late morning things were settling down and I could begin to focus on something beyond damage control. It was time to start looking for the gift in what had happened. I realized that I could beat myself up for being careless to leave a window unlocked, but what good would that do at this point? I would be more cautious going forward. What I had to focus on now was finding the gifts and the messages that were trying to come to me through this situation. As wise men say, never waste a good crisis. I learned a long time ago that looking for the gifts right away and taking them to heart lessens the severity of the lesson.

My first thought was that everything that had been stolen was related to my creative work and how I put my work out into the world—computers, mobile phone, video camera, and a few other little things that could be quickly turned into cash. People asked me if I felt violated, and the interesting realization to me was that I did not—at least not in the way that they assumed. The energy in this part of the house still felt very clean in spite of the fact that a stranger had invaded the space. My feelings toward the robber were much more deep sadness than anger. In fact, when I finally settled into meditation in the early afternoon, I found myself saying the Buddhist loving kindness mantra for him. He was so neat in the house, so careful not to disturb anything, that it almost felt as if he was apologizing for his actions. Everything he took could be replaced, he did no damage to the house, and no one was harmed. He didn’t touch the external back-up drive on my desk and everything on the computers was backed up. In the end, the whole experience was just a big inconvenience.

However, I did feel violated in a different kind of way. Over the next few days, a very vulnerable feeling washed over me—a feeling of being exposed. I felt like the heart of my creative output was now in someone else’s hands. Intellectually, I knew that this person couldn’t care less about my creative work, but that still didn’t keep me from feeling violated in this way.

My thoughts were full of possible things that this experience could mean or messages it wanted me to get, but none of them were ringing true to me. It wasn’t until I had a conversation with a new author friend, Tama Kieves, that it all came together. As I shared my experience with her, she asked if perhaps the gift here was the realization that even though the robber had stolen my creative work, he couldn’t steal me.

When she said those words, every cell in my body recognized this as truth. What an enormous gift. In that moment, I experienced an incredible sense of liberation. I was astounded at what was happening inside of me. I even began to wonder if all of these circumstances had somehow come together just to give me that gift—the window carelessly left unlocked, neglecting to set the house alarm system that night, someone on the prowl for his night’s “work,” and my creative tools being an easy find within feet of the window.

I share this story because of the tremendous gift this realization has been. We all have many experiences along the road of life. Some of them we welcome and celebrate while we struggle with others. In situations where it is easy to see ourselves as the victim, we can feel as though some part of us has been stolen away without our permission. The great gift for me was the realization that no matter what was taken, no matter what I may “lose,” nothing can steal the essence of me. No one can take from me who I am, what I know, what I recognize as my truth, or the wisdom and creativity within me. I may have lost my creative tools temporarily, but the tools could be replaced. Within 24 hours I was up and running again and back at work on my latest projects.

The robber gave me a gift that night. He helped me to claim myself on an even deeper level—to claim my wisdom, my courage, my gifts, my creativity, my essence, and realize that no matter what happens, no one can take those things away from me. I offer this gift to you as well. Perhaps then you can receive that gift and learn its lessons without having to have a similar experience.

Who we are at our essence belongs only to us. No one can take that away from us. I am forever grateful for this gift.

Many blessings,
Alan

Copyright © 2011 Alan Seale

Soul Mission Profile: Teresa Haines—Putting It Together

by Johnathon Pape

When solving a puzzle, regardless of whether the process involves assembling random pieces into a coherent picture or unraveling an intricate knot, there are times when it is important to step back and get a different, larger view.  After 20 years in Media Sales and Management, Teresa Haines decided to do just that.  “I don’t know if I had outgrown the corporate environment or it had outgrown me,” she explains, “but it had become a toxic atmosphere, and I knew I needed to step away from it to figure out what I needed to do.”  Teresa quit her job, and started gathering information.  In her own words, she “floundered a bit,” but in the process, she found coaching.  She enrolled at the International Coach Academy and got her Professional Coaching Certification.  It was also where she “met” Alan, who leads ICA’s Spiritual Coaching Community of Practice.

“Once I completed my certification, I realized that the learning didn’t stop there for me.  I still wasn’t coaching at the level I wanted. That’s why I was drawn to Alan’s work.  It gives me the depth I want in coaching.”  Teresa is currently enrolled in Transformational Presence Coach Training, but even before that she took Soul Mission * Life Vision as a teleclass.  It was there that she realized her soul mission - I am a puzzle master.  “I came to those words with Alan’s help.  When he reminded me that my soul mission didn’t have to make sense to anyone else, I finally stopped trying to put it together for other people to understand, and was able to focus on what was important to me.  I’m very strategic and love puzzles. Even the teleclass itself was like this wonderful puzzle, and we were all the puzzle pieces fitting together to find this larger truth.”

Johnathon Pape: I love the unique language of your soul mission.  It is so specific and potent.  The process whereby you arrived at it may also seem unique to some of our readers, who have done the SM*LV work through 4-day intensive workshops or one-on-one coaching.  What was it like to do this intense work in a teleclass format?

Teresa Haines: I think the value is that obviously you’re doing the work for very personal reasons, but you’re with other people with the same motivations.  Being able to hear other people go through the same experience with their own process is very interesting.  Plus, what the telephone offers (in coaching, too) is a sort of safe zone. What you look like, your facial expressions and reactions, are all secondary to the learning.  A teleclass offers anonymity within a group process.  It’s almost like creating a bubble around yourself from the outside world. There are no other distractions; they just melt away.  The focus is really on the process.  However, the key is to set aside that weekly teleclass time and not try to work it into your life.  Really savor that time, and set it up so that there are no distractions.

JP: How has knowing your Soul Mission and living it changed your life?

TH: Completing the Soul Mission work has given me such a clear picture of what I need to be happy in life.  When I am in alignment with my soul mission, my life seems to flow naturally.  When I am out of alignment with my soul mission I struggle internally and externally.  Once you ring the bell of your soul mission, you cannot un-ring it.  Once awakened, my soul mission became a living, breathing influence in the reality of my life.  When I am living in alignment with my soul mission, I feel an expansive, welcoming energy of belonging.  When I deny my soul mission energy I feel uneasy and a sense of aloneness, like I don’t really belong.

JP: What puzzle are you mastering now in your own life?

TH: I am currently being called to redesign my life around truth.  The reality in which I live has been built on a foundation of lies and half-truths.  I learned to make my way in this world through the subtle manipulation of “go along to get along”.  This is not the way of my soul mission, and now I must figure out how to live and function in my world within truth. Choosing to live in truth every moment of every day – not to default to the lie.  Right now I’m in a place where I need to clearly identify my truth so that I can plant the seed and empower others to explore their own truth.  It feels like I’m cutting through the jungle of living in my own truth so that others can see that it’s possible and there is a way.

JP: It sounds like one of the Once and for All moments that Alan talks about.

TH: Yes, it’s exactly that – Once and For All – blazing a trail for all of us.  It’s a beautiful moment, but carrying it with you is hard sometimes.  There’s no going back.  In reviewing my soul mission work for this article, I am reminded of what is important to me and what feeds my soul mission.  I am also reflective of the things in my life now that do not serve my soul mission.  It is not always easy to let go of those things. It takes a great deal of courage sometimes to step fully into who I am called to be.

JP: Has that been the greatest challenge to living your Soul Mission?

TH: Yes, because the society in which we live does not always openly honor those who choose to live in alignment with their soul mission.  My quest for truth is not always valued or rewarded.  Often I find myself faced with the decision to do what is right versus the decision to do what is popular.  We’re brought up in a society that values hiding the truth.  We do each other a great disservice when we aren’t completely honest with each other.  Relationships built on lies or half-truths aren’t sustainable.  That’s why there is so much pain.  We don’t like the pain that sometimes shows up behind the truth.  But keeping that pain hidden inside is what can make us sick.  I learned a long time ago that people like me better when I tell them what they want to hear.  But I like myself less when I don’t speak the truth.

JP: You are the mother of two young girls - ages 8 and 13.  How does this process of living in truth affect your parenting?

TH: Raising children with this baseline of truth is wonderful and also challenging.  I empower them to make choices, and the educational system does not. I’ve always raised my girls to be independent thinkers, but that doesn’t always mesh with our educational system, which is such a “shut up and sit down” way of thinking.  But it’s better that they’re learning about the power of living in truth now as children instead of having to come to that later in life and then undo all the emotional and spiritual knots that have been tied over the years.

JP: What is the most important thing you’ve learned about yourself since claiming your Soul Mission?

TH: Soul mission work is a journey.  Claiming my soul mission has just been the beginning.  Everyday I must reaffirm my commitment to my soul mission and measure all of my choices against it.  Sometimes I think my life would be easier not knowing my soul mission…ignorance is bliss, as they say.  But then I remember how miserable I was living my life as a lie and how unhealthy I had become.  I know in my soul that finding the courage to honor my soul mission is the key to freedom.

JP: What would you say to someone who is considering doing Soul Mission * Life Vision?

TH: To those considering pursuing a greater understanding of their soul mission, I would say be prepared and know in your heart that this is the right next step for you.  Knowing your soul mission is a tremendous gift and an awesome responsibility. It makes it impossible to fade into the crowd again.  Once you step out there’s no fading back in.  You have a responsibility from that point on to be true to YOU.  It takes courage to commit to soul mission work, and all of the work that Alan offers.  Once I began to answer that inner calling, it opened up a whole new world of being for me. This isn’t for wimps.  It’s not skipping to the rainbow, but it sure is about a pot of gold at the end.

Video of the Month: Brene Brown—The Power of Vulnerability

Brene Brown calls herself a researcher storyteller. She studies human connection and what makes it work and not work. In this poignant, revealing, and humorous talk at TEDxHouston, she shares her personal quest to understand humanity. I invite you to watch this 20-minute video, and then watch it again. There is a gift here for anyone committed to making a difference in the world.

Generally, we learn about these videos when someone recommends them to us. So here's what we offer to you. If you have one or more favorite video shorts (no more than 20 minutes) that you think our audience would enjoy, whether found on YouTube or someplace else on the web, please send us the links.

If you are on our mailing list and we select one of your recommendations as our Video of the Month, you will receive a $100 gift certificate to use on any teleclass program or a coaching session with Alan. When more than one person recommends the same video, gift certificates will be given to the first three that we receive.

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