On New Year's Day I saw the new film Avatar. Not only is it a stunningly beautiful film to watch with its lush forests, magical creatures, and floating mountains—it also carries a beautiful message. I highly recommend it.
The story takes place on the magical planet of Pandora, home of the Na’vi people. As the Na’vi people engage with their world, whether another person, an animal, or a tree, their greeting is, "I see you." It is clear that they “see” the essence of who or what they greet. It is a greeting of the greatest honor and respect.
What a beautiful thing to see another person and to be seen. Perhaps stronger than any other deep personal desire is our desire to be seen by others as who we truly are. Too often our interactions with one another are transactional in nature—just taking care of what needs to be done—and we miss out on the opportunity to engage in relationship, even if only for a moment. The Na’vi greeting offers us a great reminder of this important connection with each other—to look beyond outward appearances, beliefs, and actions to see the essence of another. Whether or not you like their behavior or agree with their politics, there is still a living, breathing heart and soul inside that person. And somewhere down inside is their sacred essence and potential, whether or not they recognize it or are living it now. The more we can recognize and call forth true essence and potential from one another, the greater chance we have to create a world of mutual acknowledgement and respect.
Yet as I pondered the beautiful engagement that comes with “I see you”, I realized that seeing others in their essence is just one aspect of a larger gift of “seeing.”
In order to truly see another, we must be able to see ourselves—to recognize our own essence and greatest potential. Learning to truly see ourselves and others at the level of essence and potential opens the door for seeing more deeply into the world around us. And this is what I really want to talk about. Acknowledging that life is energy in motion and that all of our experiences and life circumstances are patterns of energy, what if, in the same way that we looked into ourselves and others to say, “I see you,” we also looked into our experiences and circumstances to see their true essence and potential? What if we became highly skilled at looking beyond the drama of life into a deeper story that is unfolding—a story that no doubt began before this experience or circumstance and will continue long after?
There is always a bigger picture than the snapshot of a single experience or circumstance. If we look beyond the surface to uncover the essence and potential that is waiting to unfold, we begin seeing in a way that opens the door to transformation. The more we practice this deep seeing, “I see you” becomes a natural way of engagement with life on all levels—engagement with ourselves, with others, with our circumstances, with the world.
We offer a significant gift to the world by developing the skill of deep seeing. In doing so, we learn to see beneath fears, anger, hurt, resentment, attacks, resistance, as well as beneath joy, celebration, and love, and tap into essence and potential. What is the greater potential that is being held back or trying to emerge? What if we could see deeply into life at all levels, recognize the potential waiting to unfold, and become a steward for that potential? Just by acknowledging that potential—by consciously saying “I see you” and inviting it to come out into the light of day—we can make a significant difference. You may or may not verbalize that acknowledgment or invitation. It may not always be appropriate. But you can certainly acknowledge the potential and extend the invitation in your heart.
I fully acknowledge that there is a lot more to effecting change in our world than just “seeing” the potential. However, this is the starting point—a step that as a culture we aren’t yet in the habit of taking. Without this first step, none of the rest can happen. The cultural habit can only change as our personal habits change. Whether in our personal lives, our work, or in our governments, as long as we pretend that treating symptoms or reacting to what is happening on the surface will solve our problems or create sustainable change, we are, in effect, saying to each other, “I don’t see you.” We outwardly deny the existence of a deeper story, a true essence, and a greater potential that is just waiting for a steward to help it become reality. In doing so, we reinforce the separation and differences between us rather than reinforce our common humanity.
The world is watching Haiti right now. Thousands of people are “seeing” from their hearts into the hearts of the people we are shown by the media. This is a beautiful thing. Yet what is still the deeper “seeing” that is available to us? For starters, it is the opportunity to open our hearts and recognize our oneness as a human family. It is the opportunity to recognize that we are seeing others from a deep heart place of compassion and that we can learn to live from this place. And it is the opportunity to realize that perhaps if we could truly say “I see you” to all of life all the time, we might not need terrorist acts, tsunamis, hurricanes, floods, fires, or earthquakes to make us see with the eyes of our hearts.
On February 14th we celebrate St. Valentine’s Day—the holiday of love. Let us see beyond roses and chocolates, beyond greeting cards and cardboard hearts, to the true essence and potential waiting to unfold through all of life. Let every interaction become an engagement. Take time to look at the person you meet and, whether silently or out loud, say “I see you.” Take time to peer inside yourself to your essence and acknowledge and embrace the full, authentic you. Take time to be with your experiences and your circumstances—peer deeply into their essence and the gifts or transformation waiting to unfold and say “I see you.” Take time to look deeply into our governments and leaders, find the essence and the potential, and say “I see you.” Pause to hold the world in your heart until you can truly say, “I see you.”
For many years, Sean Clarke has had a clear understanding that his purpose in life, at least in part, is about helping people align their human and divine natures. Born in Canada and raised in Northeastern Vermont, Sean did his undergraduate study in Behavioral Sciences at Lesley College in Boston. “My first career,” he explains, “was as a massage and body-centered therapist. This allowed me to reach into a person on a certain level, but I didn’t feel that it was sufficient. It didn’t give me the understanding of how the mind impacts a person’s transformational process. That led me into the study of both traditional and transpersonal psychology.” After additional study at the Simmons School of Social Work in Boston, Sean completed his graduate degree in Transpersonal Psychology at Southwestern College, in Santa Fe, New Mexico.
Sean has lived in Santa Fe for ten years now, where he has built a practice as a psychotherapist. During this time, he also realized that the third part of the body-mind-spirit equation was ready for additional expansion. “I was in meditation one day and knew that there was another step I needed to take. I had investigated several people’s work and done a lot of trainings. But I was moving into a new position where I wanted to identify what I needed to know and learn how to let what was uniquely mine to share come out, as opposed to just recapitulating others’ work. I realized that what I really wanted to find was a spiritual coach. So after the meditation I put in an internet search for ‘spiritual coach’ and Alan’s website popped up. I read through the website and it really appealed to me. So I meditated some more on it, looked at his books, and decided to enroll in the program.”
Sean was part of the first cohort of the Transformational Presence Coach Training Program and continued with mentor coaching. Recently he became the first Certified Transformational Presence Coach, having completed all the course work, the required coaching hours, and the examinations. “Transformational Presence Coaching has helped me develop my skill base to bridge the gap between the human self and the divine self. My work now is a synthesis of all of it – body, mind, and spirit – and recognizes the absolute necessity of integrating, of coming from a holistic perspective so I can be more effective within a serving capacity. It’s important to have all of that background so you can resource yourself from this place of richness – not just from traditional psychology. For me it’s really a winning combination.
Johnathon Pape: Thank you for being our Transformational Presence Coach Profile for this month, and congratulations on your certification! You really do have quite a winning combination with your background and training in body-centered therapy, transpersonal psychology, and now Transformational Presence coaching. Can you say more about how they complement each other?
Darcy (Sean) Clarke: Transformational Presence Coach training has deepened my work as a psychotherapist and confirmed the importance of not pathologizing or labeling my clients. When we do that it can make people defensive and/or they start identifying with those conditions until they think “I am my condition.” The more they identify with that label or condition, the likelihood of accessing their soul is far less. This is not to deny that people have conditions, but it is important to remember that we are not our conditions. In other words, we want to be mindful that whatever we say “I am” to has a way of claiming our lives. When I, as a therapist/coach am looking at assisting clients to see the bigger picture view of their lives, it facilitates both the client and myself to move out of the “story.” This allows them to discover that they have choices as to how they live their lives along with awakening to the opportunities that are always present within the circumstances of our lives. I am clearer now about the ways in which I can truly serve my clients. I utilize my intuition more in sessions. I focus upon seeing my client’s potential and also keep in the forefront the reality of their lives. Because I am claiming and accessing my own capacities to best serve and make the most contribution, the clients appear who respond to that.
In my own experience of having undergone TPC training, I know that unresolved issues can have a huge impact on the human self. They can arise very strongly when you are doing this deep work. Where coaching can meet a hurdle is where it comes up against those unresolved issues. Sometimes that becomes work that is more appropriate for a therapist than a coach, so for me, having varied skill sets has been invaluable.
Johnathon Pape: Thank you for being our Transformational Presence Coach Profile for this month, and congratulations on your certification! You really do have quite a winning combination with your background and training in body-centered therapy, transpersonal psychology, and now Transformational Presence coaching. Can you say more about how they complement each other?
Darcy (Sean) Clarke: Transformational Presence Coach training has deepened my work as a psychotherapist and confirmed the importance of not pathologizing or labeling my clients. When we do that it can make people defensive and/or they start identifying with those conditions until they think “I am my condition.” The more they identify with that label or condition, the likelihood of accessing their soul is far less. This is not to deny that people have conditions, but it is important to remember that we are not our conditions. In other words, we want to be mindful that whatever we say “I am” to has a way of claiming our lives. When I, as a therapist/coach am looking at assisting clients to see the bigger picture view of their lives, it facilitates both the client and myself to move out of the “story.” This allows them to discover that they have choices as to how they live their lives along with awakening to the opportunities that are always present within the circumstances of our lives. I am clearer now about the ways in which I can truly serve my clients. I utilize my intuition more in sessions. I focus upon seeing my client’s potential and also keep in the forefront the reality of their lives. Because I am claiming and accessing my own capacities to best serve and make the most contribution, the clients appear who respond to that.
In my own experience of having undergone TPC training, I know that unresolved issues can have a huge impact on the human self. They can arise very strongly when you are doing this deep work. Where coaching can meet a hurdle is where it comes up against those unresolved issues. Sometimes that becomes work that is more appropriate for a therapist than a coach, so for me, having varied skill sets has been invaluable.
JP: How has your work with Transformational Presence Coaching transformed your own life?
DSC: My participation within the TPC training has transformed my life in numerous ways. It has assisted me to develop my understanding and skill base to partner with potential or to co-create my life. It has deepened my capacity to live in the three-dimensional/seen reality as well as the unseen or world behind our eyes in ways which are grounded. I am more present and live more in the here and now. My heart is more open to myself and others. I am experiencing more Joy, Happiness, and Fulfillment. I am more inclined to respond versus react to a situation. I have become more aware. I am more relaxed, playful, and fun-loving. I am less defensive and live more authentically. I have become more pro-active about my life. I am listening to and following the promptings from my soul. My capacity to trust has increased. I am more patient. I access and in turn get my needs met…
JP: Is there a particular Transformational Presence Coaching tool that you have found particularly helpful in your work and/or life?
DSC: Maintaining a unifying presence with self and with others, no matter what. This is about utilizing the qualities of an open heart within each and every interaction. It has become a spiritual practice, while acknowledging that I’m not going to do this perfectly, along with receiving the love which is being offered to me. My experience is that an open heart is the pathway to the soul, or the God within and the God without. And with this access, I experience greater ease with both listening to and following the promptings from my soul.
JP: What are your thoughts about the difference between transformation and change and how they affect our lives?
DSC: Although transformation and change are not mutually exclusive, neither are they one and the same. How I understand it is that you can have change without transformation, but you cannot have transformation without change. More specifically, a transformational process affects our whole being (i.e., mentally, emotionally, physically, spiritually), which results in an internal shift in our consciousness. This shift is sustainable in that our awareness of consciousness has increased. The change we experience within a transformational process is initiated from within and is reflected in changes within our external reality. When a person makes a behavioral change that is not the result of an increase in awareness it will not be sustainable. For example, a person who abstains from engaging in an addictive behavior without identifying/addressing the underlying issues will more than likely revert to or relapse in their using behavior.
JP: How does your understanding of the principles of manifestation support the process of helping a client transform a challenge, realize a goal, or get clarity around an issue?
DSC: The principles of manifestation are teaching me that all of us are creating our realities from moment-to-moment, whether or not we are conscious of this. What we think about comes about. There are many factors which come into play within co-creating our realities. We have much more say and power to manifest than many of us think.
JP: And what are you currently manifesting in your life?
DSC: I’ve been in the process of developing a program that will assist people to align their human self with their soul. I’ve been consciously developing my understanding and skill base on how to best present this work for about 10 years. And now for the past six months I have been actively writing the program. A premise behind the program is that it is our birthright to live in both the seen and unseen worlds in ways that are grounded in both. That’s operative, because I’ve experienced the duality where the scientific and spiritual are separate. But it’s not one or the other – we’re both human and divine. Science and spirituality have often been used to invalidate each other, but this is different; it calls us to both. The program is focused on those who come in with an awareness of both worlds and want to know they can not only acknowledge both worlds, but also LIVE in both worlds. The program is being developed in response to people who have reached a place where they are seeking this, but sometimes they just don’t have the language and context to understand what they are already experiencing. Programs like this and what Alan does show us that there are options. No longer do we have to wait for our leaders or the dominant culture to take us there. We can do it on the individual level. In the old days people who wanted to develop their spiritual journey had to go into the monastery. Now they can do this in the 3-dimensional world. Programs like these are being offered as a response – a Rising to the Call, if you will – to the madness of the world.
JP: What has been your greatest challenge to living your full authentic Presence of Being?
DSC: Past conditioning. I am referring to having limited beliefs about Higher Power, about myself, about other people, and about life and how to live it. This is about allowing societal dictates to govern my life or having been primarily externally referenced, which translates to living in a fear-based reality.
JP: And how have you managed to transform that challenge?
DSC: By identifying, and in turn modifying and/or changing limited beliefs and by re-programming my mind with the integration of insights, gifts, and lessons gained from my direct experiences. This has entailed making a “once and for all” decision to become more internally referenced. Instead of living in a fear-based reality, I now am listening to and following the promptings from my soul. Another way of saying this is instead of figuring out my life, I am “feeling into my life.” This is a change in orientation from ego dominance to experiencing soul fulfillment. It’s more individual, with people stepping into their own power instead of subscribing to “tribal thinking.” The difference with this work is that even though people are stepping out from tribal consciousness, there is also a recognition that we are all from the same source. So it’s not just “me, me, me” but an awareness of an “us” consciousness without it being dogmatic or tribal.
JP: What would you say to someone who is considering working with or becoming a Transformational Presence Coach?
DSC: This is an effective approach to assisting people within their transformational process of living authentically and learning to partner with potential. Be prepared to do your own inner work; this training will require that you embody the material within your life. I am very grateful to have completed the TPC training. The material offered is truly assisting me in living up to my greatest potential.
Video of the Month: Author Elizabeth Gilbert – On the Creative Muse
Starting this month, we will highlight a short video that we find inspiring, thought provoking, relevant to our times, or just plain fun!
We learn about these videos when someone recommends them to us. So here's what we offer to you. If you have one or more favorite video shorts (no more than 20 minutes) that you think our audience would enjoy, whether found on YouTube or someplace else on the web, please send us the links.
If you are on our mailing list and we select one of your recommendations as our Video of the Month, you will receive a $100 gift certificate to use on any teleclass program or a coaching session with Alan. This month's choice comes from the TED Talks series on YouTube. Elizabeth Gilbert, author of the mega-seller Eat, Pray, Love, talks about nurturing creativity. She shares her personal fears and doubts as she sets out to write the book that would follow her enormous success, and ultimately her insights and revelations about the creative muse. We hope you enjoy this first Video of the Month. And please send in your recommendations for next month! When more than one person recommends the same video, gift certificates will be given to the first three that we receive.
We hope you enjoy this first Video of the Month. If you're not on our mailing list, sign up to our newsletter so you can recommend your favorite videos and have an opportunity to receive a $100 gift certificate.
